It's already over the midnight when i'm still awake, sitting on my bed and staring at the opposite wall in my room. I close my eyes but then open them again. It's still exactly the same, the wall. Just as empty as my mind at the moment. No matter how many times i try, i can't close my eyes from the truth in my heart. I am madly in love. Actually love is very beautiful thing in this cold world. When you love someone , you keep smiling all the time, they say. When you love someone , you'll forget all the sadness and sorrow , they say. But why is it so, that when i look at the mirror i can only see my pale face and red eyes filled with tears of despair. Why i'm not smiling? Well , let me tell you. As i said , i'm madly in love ...but i'm in love with my senior, (beep).
At the same time i feel frustrated, tired,sad disgusted and helpless. Loving a bestfriend is already a big shock for me although there's all laughing,eating and talking with each other . To be honest, sometimes i'm really annoyed because of all my other friends, what do they know about me and him?. Sighhh... still i have to admit that in case they're right about "me and him are so close" . I do have feeling for him . The problem is just that i'm the only one with those warm feelings, otherwise it's just acting.I have heard him and his little girlfriend having fun while i'm crying on the bathroom's floor . i cant blame him, its all my own fault, falling for him.Sigh again, this is so useless , thinking about these things wont lead me anywhere. People keep asking me what's wrong with me, where's that always so happy IZRA... Tck.. I'm not a child anymore, when people grow up they have more serious problems like this one of mine. Having an impossible love isnt a thing that brings a smile on your face face, huh?
SJ
